So you know that I’m a mother. I’m also a wife- an attribute I think is pretty important when it comes to being a mom. You’ve probably also guessed that I’m a conservative woman. What you might not realize is that there are a whole lot of mothers out there who are a lot like me, and we have some tough choices to make in our “sexually liberated” world. That’s what this site is all about- being a wife, a mother, and a conservative woman in a world where making wise choices to protect yourself and your family can be pretty tricky business.

So Why Write Wing Mom?

My friend, Karin Agness, is the founder of the Network of Enlightened Women, or NeW.  NeW is the conservative college woman’s answer to NOW. Over the past few years, I’ve gotten to know her and learn more about conservative culture- particularly as it pertains to young women. In 2008, I had the honor of speaking at NeW’s Third Annual National Conference. As a young mother, I’ve had a taste of the difficulties college graduates face as they set out into our postmodern world. For me, it was a rough road, yet I am all too happy about where it has taken me.

As an undergraduate student, my conservative thirst was quenched when a few students, staffers and I founded Campus Crusade for Christ (CCC) at UVA in 2000. Now known as Agape Christian Fellowship, the group is booming and has changed countless lives through the fellowship offered on grounds and through the young students worshipping and minstering abroad.

Before CCC, I led the traditional college-girl life. I was in the Virginia Belles, a sorority-like a capella group. Sure we sang, but we specialized in partying. To my adult mind, it sounds silly, but back then we were treated like hollywood a-listers in our fishbowl college community. Plenty of people could have cared less about a capella singers, but to the students who did care, we were rockstars.

For me, the pressure was on- the culture around me told me I was supposed to be beautiful, smart, academically successful, and popular. I wanted to be in demand as a woman- I wanted to be wanted. It was hard work trying to be all those things in college, and it didn’t change after college. I wore many hats trying to find the one that best fit me. I was a reformed party-girl. In college, I spent a couple of years partying and a couple of years praying. After school, I spent a few months in North Africa studying abroad. I came back to the states where I began seminary, working toward an MA in Theology. At the same time I taught math and algebra to 7th and 8th graders with emotional disabilities at Frost Middle School as a TA.

The emotional toll of the broken kids at FMS was too much for a girl without any training, so I took a new job at a music shop. I worked in sales and I taught piano and voice lessons. I got a gig as a jazz singer with a wedding band. I switched master’s programs to an MS in Marriage and Family Therapy. I moved to Mississippi to study. I moved back to Virginia, and got engaged to my college sweetheart. I worked as an executive assistant for a retired 4 star general who thought microsoft was some sort of new-fangled bath towel company. I hocked lipstick as a Lancome lady. I was the director of a young adult minstry at a church. I was the lead singer in a praise band. I married my husband, we bought a house, and I got my real-estate license and worked the market bubble. A few months before my husband started law school, we learned I was pregnant and we moved back to the University of Virginia where I got a retail job until the baby arrived. I still can’t shop at Bath and Body Works without reliving my morning sickness.

It seems that no matter what I was doing, I wasn’t satisfied. I tried everything under the sun. I even spent a few months rescuing homeless dogs and cats and rehabbing them in my master bathroom until I found permanent homes for them. That somewhat satiated my need to give to others, but I still couldn’t figure it out. On top of it all, I was pregnant, and I felt that my chance to be everything to everyone was lost. When was I going to finish my master’s degree once I had a kid? When was I going to be the therapist or minstry leader that I hoped to be? What was I going to do as a new parent with a husband in law school and no way to afford day care? What was going on? This was not the plan!!!

The Kid

Little did I know that my chance to be everything to everyone had just begun. I had an “aha” moment where I realized that life doesn’t need to go according to MY plan. Life goes according to God’s plan, and as it turns out, God’s plan is way better than my own. Rather than hampering my plans to finish my MS in MFT or Theology, being a wife and mother would actually augment my understanding in grad school. As a wife and mom I would be a much better therapist or minister than I would as a single person. As far as the affordability of day care was concerned, I am not only the most qualified, but most affordable preschool teacher around. With my husband in grad school, he has been able to be a part of our daughter’s life without the stress of a 9 to 5 job. We are blessed by financial help by our families and our income is helped by Eric’s summer work in law firms. Now that he is almost done with school, I am pregnant with our second child and we are well on our way to financial independence. Most importantly, I have found my calling. I have that job where I am everything to everyone. I still get to sing and teach piano if I want to, but I also get to apply all that I learned in my MFT and Theology work toward my career as a wife and mom. Best yet, my career as a wife and mom is going to sweeten any further study I pursue. And I don’t have to pursue anything at all. I matter because I am living a life I believe in. I’m not trying to please others. I am what I am.

So finally, what is WriteWingMom? Its a place where I will share my experience as a stay-at-home mother with a world where women are encouraged to go out there and find full-time careers, even if that isn’t their hearts’ desire. It’s a place where it’s ok to be young and married and have kids. It’s a place where it’s ok to follow your heart and not your culture. Where you can say no to ”sexual liberation” and embrace sexual intimacy. Where you can devote yourself to your values and beliefs, even if they aren’t popular in postmodern America.

So read on, drop me a line, and offer some suggestions. I’d love to hear who you are and what you think!

Blessings to all of you!

The Mom

mom@writewingmom.com