…and all through the house, not a creature was stirring…
Except for Eric, Meredith, Sophie, Emily, Daisy Duke, Madison and Felix “The Buddy” Frankfurter The Cat.
It has been a crazy, crazy 2009, but it has also been replete with blessings! The year began with our little family of three eagerly awaiting the fourth member. Our fourth wedding anniversary came and went without much ado as Meredith was very sick with hyperemesis gravidarum. She spent the end of January 2009 in the hospital. After several months on IV fluids, she was eventually placed on IV nutrition until the little one arrived. Prayers for health and patience got us all through, along with the support of family and friends- shout out to Meredith’s and Eric’s mothers and our generous friend Deb Devore!
February brought Sophie’s second birthday. We celebrated at Sophie’s Charlottesville eatery of choice, Red Robin. Sophie must be the coolest kid in town since all of her party guests are a good 28 years older than she! After a meal of ketchup and pink frosting, Sophie went home sweet and happy to new clothes, a dozen balloons, toys and books from mommy and daddy’s friends and our family.
March arrived with the passing of Meredith’s Uncle Dale from a brain tumor. Dale’s initial prognosis gave him 6 months, but he fought hard with the love and care of his wife, Verna, and passed after over 2 years with cancer. We will all miss him. His strength was inspirational.
April ushered in great joy! On the 16th, Meredith turned 30. On the 17th, she woke up, went to the hospital, and delivered our second completely perfect daughter, Emily Claire! Sophie is pleased to have a baby sister. Emily is the happiest baby we have ever met. To everyone’s delight, she is almost always smiling!
May was a big month for Eric- he turned 30 on the 11th and graduated in the top 10% of his class from Virginia with a M.A. in History and a J.D. Congratulations to our favorite TRIPLE HOO! Eric’s sister, Ellen, delivered a perfectly pink and smiley baby beauty, Chloe Isabelle. Ours is a family blessed with baby girls!
In June, Eric buried himself in his office at the law school to prepare for the infamous bar exam. Meredith had her gallbladder removed and went to McLean to recover. She and Eric reviewed over 500 flash cards every evening to help Eric prepare for “Daddy’s Great Big Test”, as Sophie referred to it.
July was a full month! Eric and Meredith began to sort and pack the Charlottesville home. Meredith had the opportunity to perform and speak about Hyperemesis at various events around town. At the end of the month Eric traveled to Roanoke where he passed the Virginia State Bar Exam. Phew! Now he could start work, which he did, two days after completing the bar, at Williams & Connolly LLP in Washington DC.
In August we closed on our new home in the colonial port city of Alexandria, VA. DC is notorious for traffic, but our new place is only a 20 minute commute from the office. Meredith likes to joke that we moved from Jefferson’s back yard to Washington’s front yard. Kinda nerdy, but that’s why Eric married her!
September was a time to settle and adjust. A two week visit from Meredith’s Aunt Verna helped us make big strides toward unpacking. Alas, we are still not unpacked, but we have two small little ones to enjoy and care for. They take time and energy. The boxes will have to wait! Our four year old cat, Tyler, was diagnosed with a brain tumor in July. He passed away in September. He has gone to a place full of bugs, corners, warm laps, and plenty of other cats to sit on.
October brought a new kitten for us. Madison, our 5 year old Siamese, who survived Tyler, was depressed. Now she is angry with us for introducing Felix “The Buddy” Frankfurter, who, we are convinced, is perhaps the reincarnation of Beelzebub. We named him after Eric’s favorite obscure Supreme Court justice. Felix  is a little guy who brings us lots of laughs as he crawls up our pants and tries to jump out of closed windows. He’s busy, but he’s a happy little furball.
November was a peaceful month for all. We certainly enjoyed the GOP Sweep in Commonwealth politics. The gubernatorial race was declared the night before Eric was officially sworn in to the Virginia State Bar! Congratulations to Eric! At the end of the month, Thanksgiving with Eric’s family came and went as we looked forward to a fun December.
December was a month of gift giving and receiving. Meredith, her mother, and the girls took off to the family’s favorite resort in Williamsburg, VA. Hanukkah arrived mid-month and the family was proud to have single-handedly pulled the nation out of the recession. After Hanukkah, we think everyone should buy stock in Toys R Us and Burberry’s- they’re both bound to do well this year! Christmas was bright and merry- we enjoyed a bounty of gifts, including lots of toys, books and clothes for all four of us!
As January rolls in, we are looking forward to more surprises as Sophie begins preschool, Emily and Meredith enjoy a couple mornings a week to themselves, Eric gets down and dirty in litigation and we celebrate our 5th wedding anniversary in Las Vegas! Who knows what is to come after this month, but given the many blessings of 2009, 2010 should be a wonderful year to watch our babies grow and both of our families enjoy lots of quality time with grandbabies!
Thanks to everyone for a great year and lots of support. We look forward to time well spent in the New Year and we hope we will see many of you now that we are back in the DC area.
Love and blessings to all of you!
Eric, Meredith, Sophie, Emily, Daisy Duke, Madison and Beelzebub Felix.

Honeymoon Kiss

Why is there music playing while you’re trying to read this? The music is playing to make you stop and think about what you’ve got and why it is wonderful. It is the song that is responsible for my marriage.

In 2003, after dating on and off for several years, Eric and I started talking about getting married. I did what any responsible 20 something would do- I freaked out and broke up with him.

I faced a few months without his phone calls, without his emails or IMs. I faced a few months making new friends. I spent a lot of time with old friends. None of it mattered. I simply couldn’t do anything without seeing something that reminded me of him- a movie we’d laughed through, a Baskin-Robbins where he’d bought me a cone, a black Jetta that just might be his. I was sure we couldn’t get married. It wouldn’t work. End of story. Time to move on.

Then this song came on the radio. Yep- the one you’re listening to right now. In it, I heard the truth of my love for Eric. I was looking on the bright side. We weren’t together, but we had something that few people ever really have. The kind of thing people read about, but never happens in their own lives. We loved each other. We didn’t like each other. We weren’t just used to each other. We LOVED each other. Together or apart, we had something real that people all over the world desire, something that bears so much good fruit that it can only be a gift from God, and we would always have it. We’d always love one another.  No matter what, we both experienced love, and it was good.

When you love someone like that, you just don’t fall out of love. It doesn’t ever fade enough for you to make a beginning with someone else- and at the end of the day, it is unfair for you to even try. I knew I would always wonder about Eric. I’d always wonder what he’d made of himself, who he’d married, what his children were like, if he was happy. I would be sad that I wasn’t a part of his life. Frankly, I’d be jealous of his wife, his family, his career. I didn’t like what I saw in my future without him. I was overjoyed at what I imagined of our future together.

Anyway, thank you, Jason Mraz, for writing such pertinent songs (from Virginia, BTW!). I’m very happily married- this song was a timely one. Glad you recorded it.

There are a few other songs on my little playlist below. All of them are from my relationship with Eric; our first dance, the serenade I sang to him as a wedding gift, songs I sing to our children. Songs that make us laugh. Songs that are about us and the family we’ve created together.

Don’t hit stop- enjoy them. And if you’re on the fence about someone you love, be thankful for what you have. Few people every really have it- some only read about it in books. Eric and I get to live it every day.

This past summer I had the pleasure of getting to know a great young woman- Karin Agness, the founder of the Network of Enlightened Women, or NeW.  I had the honor of speaking at their Third Annual National Conference this past summer at The Heritage Foundation. As an almost-30-something, I’ve had a taste of the difficulties college graduates face as they set out into our postmodern world. For me, it was a rough road, yet I am all too happy about where it has taken me.   

   As an undergraduate student, my conservative thirst was quenched when a few students, staffers and I founded Campus Crusade for Christ (CCC) at UVA in 2000. Now known as Agape Christian Fellowship, the group is booming and has changed countless lives through the fellowship offered on grounds and through the young students worshipping and minstering abroad.

   Before CCC, I led the traditional college-girl life. I was in the Virginia Belles, a sorority-like a capella group. Sure we sang, but we specialized in partying. To my adult mind, it sounds silly, but back then we were treated like hollywood a-listers in our fishbowl college community. Plenty of people could have cared less about a capella singers, but to the students who did care, we were rockstars.

   For me, the pressure was on- the culture around me told me I was supposed to be beautiful, smart, academically successful, and popular. I wanted to be in demand as a woman- I wanted to be wanted. It was hard work trying to be all those things in college, and it didn’t change after college. I wore many hats trying to find the one that best fit me. I was a reformed party-girl. In college, I spent a couple of years partying and a couple of years praying. After school, I spent a few months in North Africa studying abroad. I came back to the states where I began seminary, working toward an MA in Theology. At the same time I taught math and algebra to 7th and 8th graders with emotional disabilities at Frost Middle School as a TA.

   The emotional toll of the broken kids at FMS was too much for a girl without any training, so I took a new job at a music shop. I worked in sales and I taught piano and voice lessons. I got a gig as a jazz singer with a wedding band. I switched master’s programs to an MS in Marriage and Family Therapy. I moved to Mississippi to study. I moved back to Virginia, and got engaged to my college sweetheart. I worked as an executive assistant for a retired 4 star general who thought microsoft was some sort of new-fangled bath towel company. I hocked lipstick as a Lancome lady. I was the director of a young adult minstry at a church. I was the lead singer in a praise band. I married my husband, we bought a house, and I got my real-estate license and worked the market bubble. A few months before my husband started law school, we learned I was pregnant and we moved back to the University of Virginia where I got a retail job until the baby arrived. I still can’t shop at Bath and Body Works without reliving my morning sickness.

   It seems that no matter what I was doing, I wasn’t satisfied. I tried everything under the sun. I even spent a few months rescuing homeless dogs and cats and rehabbing them in my master bathroom until I found permanent homes for them. That somewhat satiated my need to give to others, but I still couldn’t figure it out. On top of it all, I was pregnant, and I felt that my chance to be everything to everyone was lost. When was I going to finish my master’s degree once I had a kid? When was I going to be the therapist or minstry leader that I hoped to be? What was I going to do as a new parent with a husband in law school and no way to afford day care? What was going on? This was not the plan!!!

The Kid

   Little did I know that my chance to be everything to everyone had just begun. I had an “aha” moment where I realized that life doesn’t need to go according to MY plan. Life goes according to God’s plan, and as it turns out, God’s plan is way better than my own. Rather than hampering my plans to finish my MS in MFT or Theology, being a wife and mother would actually augment my understanding in grad school. As a wife and mom I would be a much better therapist or minister than I would as a single person. As far as the affordability of day care was concerned, I am not only the most qualified, but most affordable preschool teacher around. With my husband in grad school, he has been able to be a part of our daughter’s life without the stress of a 9 to 5 job. We are blessed by financial help by our families and our income is helped by Eric’s summer work in law firms. Now that he is almost done with school, I am pregnant with our second child and we are well on our way to financial independence. Most importantly, I have found my calling. I have that job where I am everything to everyone. I still get to sing and teach piano if I want to, but I also get to apply all that I learned in my MFT and Theology work toward my career as a wife and mom. Best yet, my career as a wife and mom is going to sweeten any further study I pursue. And I don’t have to pursue anything at all. I matter because I am living a life I believe in. I’m not trying to please others. I am what I am.

   So finally, what is WriteWingMom? Its a place where I will share my experience as a stay-at-home mother with a world where women are encouraged to go out there and find full-time careers, even if that isn’t their hearts’ desire. It’s a place where it’s ok to be young and married and have kids. It’s a place where it’s ok to follow your heart and not your culture. Where you can say no to ”sexual liberation” and embrace sexual intimacy. Where you can devote yourself to your values and beliefs, even if they aren’t popular in postmodern America.

   So read on, drop me a line, and offer some suggestions. I’d love to hear who you are and what you think!

Blessings to all of you!

The Mom

mom@writewingmom.com

… you’ll just have to bear with me. I have tons of ideas for this site- but I’m not a Dreamweaver genius (or even html for that matter). I’m doing my best. For now, enjoy the posts, and please keep coming back back for more fun.

I’m glad you found me! Some of you may know me from my previous blog at Blogspot.com. Blogger was a great place for me to earn my blog wings, but I came to a point where I desired more control over my web space. I have a lot in store for this little site and I hope you and your friends will visit me often. I’d love it if you’d subscribe to my right wing world, and I look forward to to hearing from all of you!